Yay

I met a new therapist the other day. When I told them I probably wouldn't look at them much they responded "that's no problem at all, don't worry about it", and followed up with "I'm a person who tends to look at people quite a lot - does that bother you as well?"

Yay to people.

And yay to having come far enough that I am quite happy when I meet new professionals to begin with "Is it OK if I take my shoes off? Also, I probably won't look at you much. If the fire alarm goes off I will be a ball in the corner, don't worry about me. I will use a fiddle tool because it helps me. I work well in writing, with direct questions and with time to prepare my thoughts." Well, I don't reel it off quite like that - that would be a little overwhelming for them, but you get the gist!

So much less spoon wastage than trying to mask all those things because I don't feel able to say them or I'm unaware of how helpful they would be. Increasingly I take a similar approach at times in other (social or work) situations where I feel comfortable to too.

Also, how exciting that I now can actually at the beginning of therapy SAY (or write) what I hope to get from it and what I want to work on etc?! Because that is OK. And is even how it's meant to work... Yikes, all that therapy previously has finally got me to the point where I can be useful in therapy 🤣