The sensory delights and trials of parenting a newborn

There is a fundamental change when you first become a new parent. Your house becomes a different kind of house, and you become a different kind of person. I live in a House with Baby Toys, a House Where you Might Find a (clean) Nappy on the Living Room Floor. A House with Baby Clothes on the Line. I am a Person with a Car Seat in Their Car, a Person who uses the Lift Because of the Pram, A Person Who is Late Because the Baby Needed Feeding. 

I like being a Person With Baby Feet On Their Leg!

Of course not everything changes (See my previous post! Although things are very different now from when I wrote that), but the shift is pretty major and there is a lot of re-categorisation work for the brain to do as it tries to make sense of what life is now.

Along with this shift come many new or changed sensory experiences. These must be different for everybody and must affect everybody differently but I think I would have found it interesting to read some examples before I gave birth. In fact I'd still be interested to read others' experiences now! And different experiences of the sensory aspects of pregnancy for that matter.

A few of the notable sensory specialities of having a new baby for me:

Smell experiences. 

You'll be able to think of plenty of smells associated with babies, I'm sure. But I have a super strong awareness of some of the less obvious ones. I smell different. I don't know if it's the hormones or just from being so close to each other, but my body smell has changed. In the early days I definitely smelt like him; now it could be either or both. 

There is also a pervasive aroma of dried milk and our mixed sweats. Thankfully I actually like this smell, possibly because I'm all full of hormones, or possibly because as a bodily smell it is easier to process and therefore calming as an early developmental experience.

(Note, on checking and finishing this post six weeks after I started it, so just about three months into Baby Peggy, these experiences are much less intense. I guess he smells much less like a newborn, we are all a bit better at feeding so a bit less dried milk and skin to skin, and it isn't so hot so we aren't as sweaty!!)

Touch experiences.

One of the biggest difficulties I encountered and potential barriers to me breastfeeding was the wetness. I discovered I really hate being wet, and even worse, wet fabric. If makes me uncomfortable and miserable and irritable. There is a lot of wetness involved in feeding a baby. Leaking milk from the side you're not using, fountains when baby gets overwhelmed and comes off mid-let-down, dribbles when the latch isn't good, and of course spitting up after feeds. It might seem disproportionate but the constant getting wet really affected my mood, to the extent that even though feeding was going well I questioned whether I could continue. Thankfully I was able to problem-solve with a little help and with a never-ending supply of muslins, and milk collection shells and reusable breast pads I can stay happily dry when feeding and in between. What a relief!

Tummy to tummy 💗

Some of the most rewarding sensory aspects of having a baby are tactile for me. Having Baby Peggy's weight and warmth on me is super calming: worlds beyond a weighted blanket or even a squeeze vest I think. Having him in the sling when I do stressful things helps keep me calm. But the real trump card is the moments when I find us tummy to tummy. There is something primal, visceral, soul-filling, about that particular sensation that just transcends the words I have to describe it with! 

Those are the main ones which were huge for me but potential other considerations:

Sound experiences.

Babies cry. Some more than others, but all babies cry a certain amount. The sound is designed to be hard to tolerate. This can make it extra problematic for people who are particularly sensitive to certain sounds. Or perhaps some people with strong auditory sensitivities have found ways to cope (certain types of earplugs I have heard of, and I'm sure there may be other things that help) and so don't find it much worse than other sounds. Or perhaps the processing is different and so the emotion and the sound may be less strong (or indeed stronger) in some people.

Luckily we like his favourite
singing hedgehog too!

For me another one to note is changes to the soundscape of the house. Someone will undoubtedly give you noisy toys. We have a baby gym that makes noises but thankfully they are noises I don't mind hearing repeatedly (some I would struggle to cope with so we may be "losing" a lot of batteries if we acquire too many electronic toys in future!), but it can still be surprising if the baby is not on the mat and one of us sets hedgehog off unexpectedly!

The sounds of his shuffling and snuffling at night are also new, the washing machine is on more often, I tend to listen to music more because he likes it (and the types of music he likes, especially in the car!). When he was tiny he made a funny sound at the end of a yawn that inexplicably infuriated me for a moment every time, but then it also used to sound like we were on a pirate ship at night as he snored, which was actually quite soothing and very cute.

And of course his cooing and early vocalisation practice. Which melts my heart every time. And with that grin...

I've had to rethink my
whole laundry-hanging
system!

Visual experiences.

As I mentioned earlier, the house looks different. Baby toys, baby clothes, nappy buckets, baby bath, baby sleeping places (we even had to move our bed slightly to accommodate his bedside crib, which is not only a visual adjustment but can affect the proprioceptive and other senses as you navigate the room!). General baby paraphernalia all over the place! I know of one friend who very slowly made these adjustments throughout her pregnancy - perhaps a helpful tip.

But also, you get to look at a really cute baby.

Taste experiences.

I didn't think there was anything to write here, but as I come to check over and finish this post a few weeks on, I have had to trial a dairy free diet for his digestion, so am having to adjust to new tastes as well! Thankfully there is a lot available these days so it has been easier than I feared. NB cashew milk is the closest I've found to cow's so far, oat is nice too, coconut yoghurts are not nice but coconut ice cream is (well, Aldi's chocolate brownie ice cream, anyway...). I don't reckon vegan cheese would be worth trying...

Other senses.

Getting back on these
bad boys!

My proprioceptive and vestibular senses are a bit sad since having a baby as they become rather neglected when permanently glued to another being who can't control the movement of their body. I use these two senses to keep myself regulated and feeling well, so I really notice it when I haven't been able to stretch or move in ways that feel good for a while. When my body isn't happy, I'm less happy. So recently, now that I've become aware of this and now that Baby Peggy is sleeping and playing a little more independently at times, I try and prioritise moving my body even if just for a few minutes each time he is somewhere that's not me. It really helps. 

Sometimes you can
sneak a bit of vestibular
input even with a baby...

Interoception-wise, I have to try and be extra conscious because I am not super-sensitive in this area. I often realise fairly late on that I need the toilet, or am thirsty or too hot, so now I try and intentionally attend to all these needs before I sit down to feed - go to the toilet, make sure I have a drink nearby (although I think breastfeeding actually makes me more conscious of thirst) and am dressed right for the temperature. Thankfully on the evenings and weekends Mr Peggy is great at refilling my water whenever it is empty, bringing me the food I need, putting my fuzzy socks on for me etc!

So there are my thoughts on the sensory aspects of having a baby. Please let me know your experiences and thoughts - I'd be really interested!