Proud

There are many things I'm not proud of about myself; I'm great at feeling shame both in its place and when it's not appropriate. That does not exclude acknowledging the bits I'm happy about, though it's only sometimes I can do that.

Proud is something I don't want to be (connotations of boastfulness, egocentricity and rudeness?), and perhaps what I really mean is that I'm pleased about these things, and glad and grateful that they are so. But I think that proud is the word that is often used to convey those sentiments, and it acknowledges the work that I put in to make these things happen, so I'm going to stick with it for now. 

I am proud of myself for often asking for help when I need it.

I am proud of myself for managing many situations on my own (not because I feel that I must or should cope alone, but because in many situations I can).

I am proud of myself for learning the difference between those.

I am proud of myself for not obeying my head every time it tells me lies.

I am proud of myself for letting others help from mundane everyday things like "Mr Peggy please can you get me x from the supermarket on your way home" to calling or emailing for help when I can't fight my brain on my own.

I am proud of myself for letting my body grow a human.

I am proud of myself for starting to believe that it's OK to live softly, to allow more than the bare minimum I "should" have, and to live a life I enjoy.

I am proud of myself for talking about difficult things.

I am proud of myself for (mostly) looking after Baby Peggy well.

I am proud of myself for starting to vocalise my needs and wishes.

I am proud of myself for trying new things.

I am proud of myself for letting old things go.

I am proud of myself for keeping on keeping on with the things that serve me well.

I am proud of myself for learning from my experiences.

I am proud of myself for taking on challenges (ones that I want and are achievable).

I am proud of myself for making progress, even though my brain often tells me it's the wrong direction or that I shouldn't want most of these things.

I'm proud of myself for
resurrecting traditions I used
to enjoy

I'm proud of myself for using
coping skills

I am proud of myself for allowing myself to be proud. Meta.