Tiny Things

When everything feels bleak around me and hope is hard to see, when I feel trapped or desperate, I often find that it is some small thing of beauty that saves me. 

A tiny unnoteworthy scrap can catch my focus and become treasure that brings a window of escape to get me through the fog or darkness. Yesterday it was a leaf that I impaled (or threaded, depending on your mood...) onto a twig. So tiny and simple, yet with infinite journeys of discovery, new every moment from every angle as it is moved in the light. Shape and shadow inviting me in and away from the heaviness in my heart. And of course my many Peggies helped at other moments.

Once before, it was a holly leaf. The group facilitator seemed slightly put out that it seemed to hold more of my attention than she did, but she didn't know that an hour or two earlier it helped to keep me alive. Thankfully I have rarely ever had suicidal impulses, but in a dark moment those spiky points, the glossy shine and the smooth edges, they absorbed me enough to get back to a place of safety. I think it's only reasonable that I dwelt with them a little longer. Staring in wonder. Entranced by the power of a single leaf. Two years later I still have that leaf, nestled in my treasure basket for mindful moments when it's needed.

I don't usually talk here about my faith, but I can't let this post pass without reflecting that of course, it is not the little things that save me, it is their maker. He offers them in my moments of need and he holds me in his hand through darkness and light, and the darkness is not dark to him. But through the little things, he saves me over and over again as he has saved me once and for all and given me the only true hope that endures after all suffering.

Also note: this song "Tiny Things" by Yvonne Lyon